Marge: I’m worried about the kids, Homey. Lisa’s becoming very obsessive. This morning I caught her trying to dissect her own raincoat.
Homer: [scoffs] I know. And this perpetual motion machine she made today is a joke! It just keeps going faster and faster.
Marge: And Bart isn’t doing very well either. He needs boundaries and structure. There’s something about flying a kite at night that’s so unwholesome. [looks out window]
Bart: [creepy voice] Hello, Mother dear…
Marge: [closing the curtains] That’s it: we have to get them back to school.
Homer: I’m with you, Marge. Lisa! Get in here.
[Lisa walks in, chuckling nervously]
Homer: In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
Mr. Rogers: Hello, neighbour. I’m glad we’re together again.
Mr. Rogers: Oh! I think I hear our friend Trolley.
Stewie: Actually, it’s your mortal enemy, Stewie.
Mr. Rogers: What the…
Stewie: I wouldn’t bother visiting the Neighbourhood of Make-believe today, Mr. Rogers. I dare say, you’ll find it quite in ruin.
Mr. Rogers: What?
Henrietta Pussycat: Meow, meow, meow, skin graft. Meow, meow, meow, meow.
Mr. Rogers: Oh, my God!
Stewie: That’s right, all dead. And now, Mr. Rogers…Fred. May as well drop the bloody formalities, I’m going to kill you anyway.
Mr. Rogers: No, please.Don’t!
Stewie: How ironic. “Rogers.” It almost rhymes with: “eliminate.”
Old English Robot: Bender, you’ve rigidly applied the law without any regard for it’s intent!! Well done, you’ll go far in this organisation.
From the beast with a million backs
*Bender enters the League of Extraordinary Robots headquarters, five or six robots are sitting around a roaring fire and a dottery, english type robot is telling them all a story*
Old English Robot: eh, eh, so it seems a human had been rather injured by a knife and as his…. as his…..blood…. nnnn I think that’s what they call it
Calculon: Quite correct sir, blather on
Old English Robot: As is it drained away, he said, he said, ‘take me to a doc…’ and uh, no no doubt he intended to say ‘doctor’ but he was unable to complete his thought, you see, being as he had died…so, taking him at his word we dragged his corpse to the waterfront. *picks up glass of whisky and looking happy* where upon the seagulls fell upon it.
*All the robots then laugh*
Bender: Humans are dumb and they die easy
Fav quote from the episode 30% Iron Chef:
Bender: Fleeing somewhere?
Fry: With you blocking the only escape route? Don’t be silly
From Futurama’s ‘Put your head on my shoulder’ episode.
*They’ve gone shopping for a new car for Amy, Fry is drinking the free coffee*
Old School Salesguy: Spotted her the minute you walked in didn’t you sir?
She’s a real beauty.
Fry: Yep she’s beautiful coffee alright.
Old School Salesguy: No the Ford Thunder Cougar Falcon Bird… Nothing makes you feel more like a man than a Thunder Cougar Falcon Bird
So how much were you thinking of spending on this Thunder-Cougar-Falcon-Bird
Fry: Sorry, I’m not here to buy
Old School Salesguy: I understand, and it’s wonderful that you don’t care if anyone questions your sexual orientation
Fry: I care! I care plenty! *grabs the salesguy* I just don’t know how to make em’ stop!
Old School Salesguy: One word.ThunderCougarFalconBird
Mr Burns: wait your turn Smithers there’s plenty of hot water for all.
Smithers: Sir! You weren’t shot. ahhhhh it was all a dream.
Mr Burns: That’s right. The year is 1965 and you and I are undercover detectives on the hot rod circuit, now lets burn rubber baby!
Announcer: Speedway squad.. IN COLOUR!